Yesterday I had a long talk with a manager from another department.
You know, when you think you are at your limit and would just like to talk to people about your life and work. In another word - whine. Because you want someone to hear you out. And you ended up talking to people that you never expect yourself to open up to.
Okay lah to be honest, I don't think I whined that much because I was telling her about what I've learned from life, universities, people, work and etc. Mostly positive stuff to begin with before I confessed that I do think that life tends to be really unfair and things don't turn out the way I wanted it to be.
I think I'm cursed with having a tough life with rocky roads to go through. Since young till now. Although I'd happily credit my past experiences for shaping me to be who I am today, but at times, I do hope to have a smooth life or better still - good luck.
I may have a seemingly good job, as perceived by many people, however, I have heavy workload till I'm beginning to think that my amount of work and salary are not being justified. My pay is reasonable but not justified by the amount of tasks I'm handling. On the other hand, I have friends who have way better job, lesser workload, higher salary, more specific job scope and etc. Life's fair?
On a bright side - I learn more than them but got paid lesser. How to complain?
My friends, fresh graduates like myself, are being guided through (given paper works to read/training/etc) to prepare them before handling a task/project. As for me, I wasn't being spoon-fed like them. Task will be given to me and I just have to figure out a way myself to get it done. Whether I like it or not.
On a bright side - I'm glad that I'm able to be even more independent but you cannot imagine the stress level I have. It's very demoralising when your work is being rejected okay! T_T
"It's like my friends are given a float before throwing them out into the swimming pool to learn how to swim. For me, I wasn't given anything and I was thrown out into the deep sea."
The manager laughed and said, "Nolah... we still give you life jacket before throwing you out into the sea lah"
To the very least, I think this will make me a better swimmer? :)
I also voiced out that if I'm given a choice, I'd prefer to work in a team so that I'm able to learn from other people, brainstorm ideas together and to ask people for advises instead of working on my own because I'm at lost whenever my brain can't seem to function properly or ran out of 'brain juice' wtf.
She paused for a moment.
"Since you always see things in a positive manner, you should continue that. You will still get to learn things whether or not you are working in a team or by yourself. It all depends on how you take it or how you see things."
My favourite quote from her...
"You don't need to work in a team. You build your own team."
It all comes from someone who is merely 5 years older than me. A very capable woman whom I think I should emulate at this phase of life.
Working for my company is not something that everyone can take it unless you are mentally and physically strong. I can't give further reasons to support that statement of mine but yea, we are quite famous for that.
In fact, many colleagues commented that I have too many things to do and job scope varied as well (marketing, advertising, promotions, designing, sales, merchandising, operations, packing, etc). More often than not, they wondered how did I managed to handle such varieties since I only majored in ONE course. All I can say is... I learn along the process. On my own :)
However, here's a quote that I always tell myself whenever I feel like giving up working for my current company...
"If I can survive this, I can survive anything."
I will persevere and survive! I'm willing to work hard for as long as I'm still learning new and challenging things everyday!!! I just hope that I won't look too haggard within a couple of months! :p
Thanks for all the great advises that everyone has given me to make me stronger. And friends who have been there to support me just so that I won't fall, I can't love you all enough! *muaks*
p/s - It has been such a long time since I opened up and was being so honest in my blog! No time to proof-read so please don't mind the error! Time to sleep!