Thursday, July 09, 2009

Study Life

I'm officially a fresh graduate.

It's still hard to believe man. Really.

Like, I've been studying for 17-18 years and now I'll be venturing into the working world. Well, despite having to work freelance all these while since back in secondary school, the thought of working doesn't scare me. But the thought of working for the rest of my life till I retire is so freaking stressful!!!

To top it off, the economy at the moment doesn't seems promising at all :(

I really wish to get a job that I enjoy doing, meet really smart and wonderful people, learn more and achieve my dreams. Frankly speaking, I enjoy working because I enjoy learning through experience and the sense of achievements give me more satisfaction that scoring well in examinations.

Come to think of it, I've experienced good and bad times in studies.

My studies was tragic back in kindergarten but it slowly improves when I entered standard 1. Well, I was put with a group of really smart guys (me being the only girl) and we teach each other in studies (more like they teach me wtf) most of the time so we ended up conquering the Top 10 spots in class for both mid-term and finals.

For our hardwork, we successfully entered first class in Std 2 but sadly I have to leave them. I struggled when I came to study in PJ mainly because I prefer friends in Seremban over PJ and my results begin to deteriorate. However, I brushed up and began to do well again.

My glorious moment would be scoring first and second place in the class in secondary school. But also from these achievements, I realised that I wasn't happy at all. My mum - yes. Not for myself. Friends began to get jealous and rumours began to spread.

Not to mention about the stress of having to maintain the results.

So I thought of leading the life or doing things that make me happy instead. Performances started to drop but not to the very poor level. I'm happy at least. I don't have to compete with other kiasu people and I don't live my life by studying only. I hate kiasu people. I despise them.

From then on, I will only do things that interest me and neglect things that I dislike. Which explains why I can do so well and poorly at the same time. My mum was disappointed up until today because she knew that I can study but I refused to.

But again, I'm happy as long as I don't fail wtf. Lol.
I can do well if I wanted to. And I know that even if I don't put in effort, I won't fail. I screw my life I know.

To the very least, I've experienced a lot in my studies life. I have lots of ups and downs. I have been in the top 10 many times. I have gotten first and second place before. I have screwed it all before. Interesting, no?

I just hope that my mum is not disappointed anymore :) Studying is not my thing. That doesn't gives me great satisfaction.

Now comes to my new phase of life - the working world.
Scary shit. But I'm anticipating. The uncertainty is scary but well, this is life.

I'm just hoping for the best :D

But my mum wants me to study Masters wtf. So I might embrace the study life once more but we shall see after a couple of years as the Masters requires working experience :)